How to Put a Toddler and a Baby to Sleep in 38 Simple Steps
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1. Give toddler and baby a bath.
2. Offer both a snack.
4. Change diapers.
5. Brush teeth.
6. Let dog out one last time and give him a cookie.
7. Take one last swig of coffee/water/whatever drink has been laying around.
8. Go to the bathroom.
9. With littles in tow, head to bedroom.
10. Get situated.
11. Tandem nurse the toddler and baby to sleep.
12. Entertain Nugget’s first request and begin singing “Baby Shark” while nursing.
13. Stop nursing because Peanut has spit up.
14. Change Peanut’s outfit.
15. Resume nursing.
16. Stop nursing because Nugget has a dirty diaper.
17. Change both littles’ diapers.
18. Resume nursing.
19. Bounce an agitated Peanut while nursing Nugget. (LOVE this ball!)
20. Kiss both girls on the head.
21. Send up a prayer of gratitude that Peanut is asleep.
22. Silently cry because Nugget has woken Peanut up by kicking her with her “nursing acrobatics”.
23. Resume nursing both while singing “Five Little Monkeys”.
24. Lay sleeping Peanut down.
25. At the request of Nugget, take her over to yoga ball. Begin bouncing while nursing and singing “Wheels on the Bus”.
26. As Nugget begins drifting off to sleep, Peanut awakes. Take Nugget and join Peanut.
27. Not so silently cry again. Look at clock on phone. Time elapsed since step #1: 45 minutes.
28. Go to bathroom.
29. Resume bouncing both littles on yoga ball.
30. Lay both sleeping littles down.
31. Take a swig of this morning’s coffee.
32. Pick up a crying Peanut and take her over to the glider.
33. Rock her to sleep while “shush shush shushing”.
34. Lay sleeping Peanut down.
35. Think to self: “I can put a toddler and a baby to sleep, no problem!”
36. Nuzzle their heads and give them both a kiss.
37. Wipe tears from eyes from exhaustion, love, and gratitude.
38. Lie down for a minute to rest eyes—
Sound familiar? Wishing you and your littles lots of sleepy dust,
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