As I delved into the world of SAHMhood, I realized one important thing: how easy it was to lose oneself in the shuffle of everyday life. To get lost in motherhood and all of its demands. And be swept away by the needs of a household and its occupants. To suddenly feel identity-less. Or forget how to “self care”. I quickly realized that…Mama needs a thing for herself.
I’ve wanted to be a mom (and one who stayed home) for as long as I can remember.
Don’t get me wrong…I absolutely LOVE being a SAHM. I also wanted a career–and I had one for over a decade!–but I wanted this more. Some days are harder than others but I am so grateful to Hubs for his support as we build this life together. I wouldn’t trade this for anything in the world.
That being said–the transition from working full time to working full time at home as a mom was seamless in some ways and difficult in others. I had been ready to stop working for a while, especially towards the end of my pregnancy. Not only was I was huge, uncomfortable, and having a slew of other fun symptoms, I was ready to not have to punch in at 8:30 every morning.
My first month at home with Nugget was a blur.
Adjusting to motherhood, learning how to breastfeed, handling SLEEP DEPRIVATION, juggling household duties (which Hubs actually did 99% of), and trying to maintain some semblance of normalcy was hard. It was hard but I was loving it. I almost dropped Nugget twice while falling asleep, but I was loving it.
Month two I started getting cabin fever.
Not exactly in the sense of wanting to leave the house (because I didn’t)…but more so in feeling purposeless in a way. Sure, I was someone’s mommy now…but I didn’t have anywhere I HAD TO BE. I didn’t have any deadlines, meetings, or upcoming projects. I didn’t have to fix my hair and make-up and wear professional clothes. I didn’t have to report to anyone. (Other than my new tiny princess.)
I also didn’t have a paycheck.
Mamas who used to work outside the home but now are SAHMs…wouldn’t you agree that this is one of the hardest transitions? I had always worked and always had my own money…and now I didn’t. Of course, Hubs and I have always operated on a “what’s mine is yours, what’s yours is mine” basis…but it still felt weird not having my own income. I knew I was contributing by taking care of our beautiful daughter…but there was still a part of me that felt like I wasn’t contributing enough, simply because of the lack of money. I soon learned I’d have to get over it.
I most certainly was contributing and that was that!
Another major adjustment was my lack of things to talk about other than Nugget and mommyhood (that is, when I actually had the chance to talk to an adult).
It was weird for me to get together with friends and have everyone talk about their day at work…while I sat by silently thinking, “Do I tell them about Nugget’s massive blow out and the fact that blue Dawn got the stain out? Or that I haven’t showered in two days? Or maybe share the new recipe I got off Pinterest to try for dinner?” I felt strangely out of touch with my former world and I didn’t feel like they’d want to hear about my new world.
But, as the months flew by, our little family fell into a natural rhythm. Hubs and I figured out what worked for us and what didn’t. Sometimes I’d have to ask for a little more support and sometimes he’d have to adjust his schedule and vice versa. It’s a fluid, ever changing dance, but it’s our dance and it works for us.
Still…something felt missing.
Then, one day, I came across a blog. It was a mommy blog full of advice and humor and great ideas…but one thing jumped off the page and literally SCREAMED at me: How To Start Your Own Blog.
(By the way, the blog I’m referring to is: https://www.mommyonpurpose.com.) It’s a phenomenal blog and is my inspiration!
In teaching, we have something called an “AHA moment”. This was my life “AHA moment”.
I’ve always loved writing. I’d always been told I had a knack for it. I’d almost even taken a job as a writer. But somehow, things had never panned out.
This was it. THIS would be my thing.
As of this post, I’ve yet to launch this blog. But I’m giddy with excitement and anticipation and hope. Finally, I have something that’s just mine, that’s separate from motherhood and SAHMhood. (Well, sort of, LOL.)
**UPDATE: Ok, so my blog has been launched for a little over a year now! Exciting stuff! Thank you for reading. 🙂 **
Maybe your thing is dance. Maybe it’s cooking. Maybe it’s a side hustle like babysitting or cleaning houses or tutoring. Your thing could be a hobby…or a business…or something as simple as meditating or having a daily cup of coffee alone. Your thing should be something that brings you pleasure and fills your soul and makes you happy. Something that’s separate from motherhood. As much as we love our babies, it’s also important for us to have our own thing.
You have to fill your own cup before you can fill someone else’s.
So…what’s your thing? Or perhaps you have more than one?
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Wishing you peace,